Farther South than I Imagined

Dear BearVault, 

I should’ve gone on my bike trip. My bike trip was going to be the thing that re-instilled trust in myself, the thing that showed me I am who I say I am. When I was with Red Pep, I couldn’t even tell if my thoughts were my own. São Paulo is hideous most of the time, but when I hate it I think about Railroad Xing’s camera. I wonder what he would see through it. I look at the buildings and think the balconies are pretty afterall. 

From my apartment terrace, I can see a karate class taking place on the same floor as a dental cleaning. 

When I bike to work, I think I have the best commute in the world. At the top of the hill behind work, there is a windowsill overflowing with plants, and yellow curtains on the floor below it. There is a smattering of pink too, maybe a little girl’s room. I wonder what she thinks of her view. I wonder if she sees me looking at her room. 

It pours rain right when you think it won’t, but I have a nice cafe close to me. My Portuguese is decent. I kept accidentally speaking Darija when I first arrived, but now I don’t stutter when I say obrigada.

With love from São Paulo, 

Osali